It is our core need and one that people search for in drugs, in alcohol, in sex, in gambling, in eating disorders. To be filled or to fill with a numbness that makes us believe that we don’t need anyone in our lives. We do this to protect ourselves. Perhaps your heart was broken so much that you believe it is beyond repair. People have let you down, hurt you, betrayed you that you believe that every person is the same. And that in every relationship you fear you will experience pain. So we hide in our drugs, we survive in our drugs and we push everyone around us away.
This is loneliness, this is pain. This is brokenness. But there is hope. We need to stop relying on the thing that breaks us.
We have been hurt but it doesn’t mean that everyone will hurt us. We need to honor that hurt, but we also need to stop hurting ourselves. We cannot live in isolation, it breaks our very core as human beings. We need love. We need people. We need each other.
Going to zoom meetings during this time reminds me of this, people are there for you right now. In your home, in your room. Reach out. Be together with other people who get it. Who without knowing you, know you. They know your pain, they know your fear, they know that there is hope and promise for a life more than this, more than just existence.