Will we ever feel safe again…

As much as I could write about the fear of life right now, the uncertainty of economies, the increasing death rate being televised, publicized all over social media. I want to talk about you.

About addiction, where we find safety and comfort in drugs, in love, in food, in gambling, in sex, in alcohol. A safety that controls all that we are, but a comfort nonetheless.

Where does this start? Why do we turn to the very thing we learn to hate? It starts early, it starts when our childhood needs are not met. This does not have to mean that we didn’t have parents that loved us, although some didn’t. Or that we were severely bullied, beaten, bruised; although some were. What it means is that our environment, our life support, the place where we learn and grow, wasn’t what we needed. As individuals we are born with our own characteristics, our own personalities, our own sensitivities and as such not every environment is suited to every individual in it. Some can thrive under certain circumstances, and some fail.

I was brought up in a home where good was never enough, and started to believe that I was never enough. In school this led to me constantly giving up because the fear of facing my own belief, was far harder than failure itself. And then at some point the tides turned, I realized I wanted more, wanted to be more and so I pushed. I used what I had learnt to try harder, strive for more and never ever give up again. And that brought me here, it gave me a new life, it gave me a life worth living for.

You can have this too, it’s waiting for you. But you have to choose to change. You have to recognize that safety is something that only you can create within you. No person, no substance, no place will ever provide you with the safety you need. It is something we can achieve, we can use what we have learnt to change the way we feel, the way we act and the way we see our world.

Yes today is uncertain, but the belief that we are unsafe stems far deeper than today. It stems from many yesterday’s ago and it’s time to bring ourselves back into the here and now, to realize that we no longer need to rely on substances, people, gambling, food to feel safe. To realize that we can find this safety within. More than that, we can create this safety.

Try this tonight, before you go to bed ask yourself these questions:

1. Today, how did my past make me feel unsafe? Was I harmed when I was a child? Finding the origin.
2. Today, how can I make myself feel safe? Was I harmed today? Recognizing our patterns.
3. Today, I am safe. I’m not going to harm myself anymore. Change.

Feeling safe is a choice you can make, amongst this world crisis, amongst your own pain, amongst your fight for freedom, you can feel safe again.

At Oasis to understand, learn and change is the treatment. This is where we recover.